Clarke Warren in Nepal

Hola Veronica and Sangha of Chile and Latin America,

I was in Vera Cruz State, Mexico, in Xalapa, when Simon died. I told the Mexican Sangha hosting me, not part of Shambhala Intl., about him and his dedication to working for Buddhadharma in Latin America. Amidst the shock, I was nonetheless touched that I was in Latin America when he went, and that my farewell wishes to him might transmit in Spanish!

Then a few days later, I visited Patzquaro, and Casa Werma. The property manager there had just met Simon a month before, when he visited Casa Werma, and conveyed fond memories and respect for Simon, from that brief meeting. She had been having difficulty with the more institutional and doctrinaire Buddhists who visited there. She said she hesitatingly informed Simon that she was not Buddhist, and Simon had let out a deep breath and exclaimed "Thank God!" That moment endeared her to Simon. She had been touched by the genuineness and warmth of his presence, She said that after even that very brief visit, she felt sad that Simon was leaving, and indeed Simon had turned to her upon leaving and said, "I feel very sad, and I don't know exactly why!"

I raised Lungta there in the garden at Casa Werma, where the Dorje Dradul had received one of the main Shambhala terma, and wished Absolute Ashe to Simon.

I am in Kathmandu right now. The other day I revisited the road where Simon and I took our first walk a day after we both arrived in Nepal for the first time in 1994. We worked together that semester, with the Naropa Nepal Program. Over time, of course, Simon returned to North America, to three-year retreat, then eventually moved to Chile, and I remained here in Asia. Each of our hearts seemed to have fused with places which captured our karma, with auspicious connections and Dharma.

That day we took the first walk in Kathmandu is still clear in my mind and emotions. Half way to Pashupati, the national Hindu shrine of Nepal and the site of the funeral (cremation) ghats, a sudden downpour pinned us down under a shelter built next to the road. Fittingly, it was a "dharmasala", a shelter built specifically for pilgrims. I remember just waiting out the rain, surrounded by a few venerable old Nepali gentlemen, hunched down on their knees and smoking, noone saying anything, just staring at the strong sheets of water pounding down all around us and thundering on the shelter roof. The world stopped, time disappeared. It was a freeze shot of Nepal, Nature, and an ancient setting. It was Simon's and my first bonding with Nepal.

I also remember the Naropa Nepal Program Halloween party in the Bir Restaurant, Simon and I both dressed as ghouls. We got pretty drunk that night, danced alot, got feisty, and swore off hard drinks for the forseeable future the next day! There were three Rinpoches at that party, young thoroughly-trained tulkus who had more or less dropped out of their formal religious roles for a while. They were dressed in jeans, t-shirts, smoking cigarettes, two of them drinking beer, obviously checking the American girls out. When I told them we were dresssed as "rolangs", Tibetan zombies, they were not at all amused. In Tibetan culture, dressing like a zombi can invoke the real thing, which many Tibetans very much believe in.

That only encouraged Simon and I to act more ghoulish!

We had some great and challenging ups and downs that semester, along with Stacy and Steve Tibbits, the latter our tutor and main reference point from past NU programs in Nepal. With Steve's unwavering guidance and sheer enthusiasm for Nepal, it was our baptism into the third world. It felt more like being introduced to the "first world", the primordial world.

A couple of years ago, I ran into Simon at the SMC Stupa Event. It was a warm and hearty reunion, if brief. We marveled about the different directions our lives had taken us after the time in Nepal.

This last summer, I again ran into Simon, for a brief moment at SMC. As he was engaged in a conversation, we did not have the time to chat. We were both about to jump into cars and depart. I remember jabbing him playfully in the gut, saying hi, then leaving. It was the last time I saw him.

At Pashupati, near where Simon and I waited out the rain torrent under the small roadside rest shelter, everyday the smoke from burning corpses rises above the sacred Bagmati River, into which the remains of the cremation are swept later. Simon is likewise now gone, swept away,and as I saw a furl of smoke from a cremation the other day, I thought of him, and how soon we will all take back to the elements. Simon was a sincere and warm person, with human complications and swings of karma like all of us. I will always remember those simple, unspoken moments under the shelter in Kathmandu, a haitis before all our further adventures together and then on our own. and remember it as a superb and simple gap of genuineness, friendship, and pure perception.

Adios Simon. Via con Vidyadhara!

Hola to you in Chile and Latin America, may your paths continue with genuine hearts of sadness.

With warm wishes,