Tribute to Denise Thornton

denise

2009-03-25T19:46:00.000-03:00

I first got to know Denise in the context of the Vajra Regent's household. She was such a fresh and delightful presence there. Everyone loved her so much. I admired her greatly.

The way she arose to the occasion of meeting her death has been one of the most inspiring things I have witnessed.

Empress of the Vajra world
Beautiful daughter and mother to the sangha
Too precious and then gone beyond.
We all miss you so much.

Craig Thompson

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Remembering Your Smiling Face

2008-12-10T12:47:00.001-04:00

Denise,

I really miss you, my dear friend. Your name, your picture, your smile still bring such happy memories and such sad realization that the next time we dharma holiday in Boulder you will not be there. Not as before, anyway. No delightful dinners sitting across the table from you basking in the glow - your bright face, soft eyes and ever-cheerful laughter. ("Beauty" was always too banal a word to describe your luminous presence.) No more practicing together and remembering - and feeling so strongly again - the connection with our teachers. Great shared stories. Such fun. Denise, is this what life is? Is this what death is? Seems so. I will never forget you and will always consider myself fortunate to have you as a heart friend. And always grateful to Fleet, that wonderful blessing who brings so much to your life, your passing, and your legacy of how to live and how to die with grace and gentleness. How proud you were of James. And our Frankie - what a tribute. Don't we have great buddies in this journey. I miss you all.

with much love,

Kerry C.

Dear Denise

2008-10-11T16:46:00.000-03:00

Hello. Perhaps you can hear me, or sense these
thoughts from whatever state of being your
consciousness or mind or heart is currently residing
in. This is difficult to write in part to the jumbled
thoughts in my head that I can't "de-jumble," and in
part due to the water that wells up in my eyes from
time to time. I'll try to press forward. First, the
way you approached your own mortality is incredibly
inspiring. Your calmness and acceptance of that are
perhaps your most powerful teachings for me. I aspire
to approach my own mortality with half of the awakened
attitude that you demonstrated.

Second, I would like to thank you for the brief time
that I was able to be your friend and learn the Dharma
from you. I value so much your teachings from Dharmic
Warriors, Shambhala Training, and as my meditation
instructor. Your death is also painful teaching to me
on impermanence. In Level 5, I remember that you spoke
of "letting go" as a serious part of our practice. I
suppose that "letting go" is something I will have to
work with now. I miss you, but I know that we are not
so separate as the human mind is often prone to think.
I will do my best to remember that. Thank you for
everything you have offered me. In the words of the
Sadhana of Mahamudra, "the only offering I can make is
to follow your example." Denise, in whatever your next
manifestation may be, may you enjoy profound,
brilliant glory.

Love, your friend and student,

-Gabe Dayley, Phuntsok Sangye

SUKHAVATI: OPENING REMARKS

2008-10-11T15:37:00.008-03:00

by Frank Berliner

Good evening. I want to welcome Denise's family, Fleet's family, all of Denise's relatives, her many, many friends, and the noble sangha.

We are here this evening to celebrate Denise's life, and to acknowledge her death. We are also here to express our faith and confidence that her journey continues, and that our love and friendship for her will continue as well.

I knew Denise for more than 30 years. She was always a lady. She glowed with what her heart teacher Trungpa Rinpoche called "enriching presence." She lived the vibrant and expansive life of a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and Shambhala householder. Many, myself included, would even say a householder queen. She was lovely, she was loyal, she was diligent, she was vivacious, she was generous, and she overflowed with exuberant vitality. She embodied elegance and abundance in every aspect of her life.

In fact, she seemed to all of us like the last person in the world who would be afflicted in the way she was. It was impossible not to feel that her cancer was horrifically untimely and unfair. It seemed like a vicious left-hook from the universe. It made us realize once again, if we had ever forgotten it, that none of us are invulnerable, and that there are no guarantees.

The sudden onslaught of such a devastating illness would have crushed the spirits of most people. But Denise didn't even wait for her teachers to instruct and encourage her in how to deal with such an overwhelming challenge. She seemed to understand its spiritual significance immediately, and she embraced it fully. When she spoke to the Sakyong shortly after learning of her cancer, he later told us that she said to him:

"The threat of death came sooner than I expected, while I was in the middle of living my life. However, this must be the blessing of the guru."

Over the past three years, the lady became a lioness. She turned and faced this relentless threat with great courage. She faced it patiently, humbly, fiercely, and without complaint. She never lost her sense of humor. She practiced with the burdens of her illness impeccably. Her devotion to her teachers and their example was unwavering. Whatever fear or discouragement she may have experienced, it is utterly obvious from her conduct that she brought all these difficulties into her spiritual practice without hesitation.

As her death approached, her natural sweetness just kept deepening, and her loving heart opened more and more effortlessly to everyone she encountered. More and more, she thought only of others. Her final weeks bring to my mind the story of the doctor who attended His Holiness the 16th Karmapa in his last days. This doctor said after His Holiness died:

"We thought we were taking care of him, but by the end we realized he had been taking care of us the whole time."

I think there is no more vivid evidence of this than the tenderness and affection our community has shared with each other in the long journey of caring for Denise. And especially at the time of her death. Her kindness, her bravery, and her gratitude have cracked our hearts open, and have inspired us in turn to become kinder, braver, and more grateful to each other. In this way, I feel that she has passed on the very essence of her life force to each of us who knew her, and that we carry that essence now in our secret hearts from this day forward. I can think of no more precious legacy for any human being to leave behind them to bear fruit in the lives of others.

All in all, I believe that Denise's life-- and her death-- have borne out our beloved teacher's faith that each of us can understand the holy dharma, that we can take it completely to heart, that we can practice it with exertion and faith, and that we can accomplish it fully-- both in life and at the time of death. There is no question in my own mind that Denise did all this. And although I definitely do not have any of the higher perceptions, I have no doubt that Denise has taken this practice and accomplishment into her death, and through it. She is a wonderful-even a wondrous-- inspiration and example for every one of us.

Here is how Denise herself put it:

"If I would recommend anything, it would be: Take death to heart.

The realization of death is a real blessing. It brings joy, freedom, genuine appreciation, and the ability to fully live our lives right here and now." Knowing my time is limited, I'm grateful just to appreciate the life I've lived, the teachers I've studied with, and the love I've been given and received."

* * *

A year before her death, [Denise] requested me to perform her funeral. The whole event was very powerful...Denise's grace and dignity in meeting her death, her kindness to everyone, and and especially her faith and exertion in preparing herself by studying the bardo teachings in depth for the last full year of her life-- were incredibly inspiring to our sangha here. Many people felt intuitively that she experienced some level of realization at the time of death. The atmosphere around her was clear, free, light, and powerful. -Frank Berliner, 19 September 2008

Dear Noble Sangha,

2008-09-17T11:47:00.007-03:00

Denise passed beautifully today [Sept 3, 2008] at about 3:30 pm Mountain time. We were with her and followed all the instructions in supporting her. She died like the buddha in the lion pose. Denise passed gently, clearly consciously letting go in some way. Her circulation was still strong. The hospice nurse had seen her an hour earlier remarking on how strong her heart and circulation was and how normal her pulse was. I was up all night guiding Denise. No doubt she is resting in the nature, the Dharmakaya, inseparable from her root guru, Trungpa Rinpoche. It is especially important for all of her family, friends and sangha to have confidence in this at this time.

Love and blessing to you all. Please hold Denise and Trungpa Rinpoche inseparably in your hearts. We are all practicing her with Denise. Denise's sukhavati will be at the Boulder Shambhala Center Saturday evening, and her cremation at SMC on Sunday.

Love,
Fleet